Your wedding is so much more than just one day, the entire experience of planning and preparing for your wedding day should be a fond memory in years to come. However, with so many options and expectations, it can easily become an overwhelming experience. To ease you into this process we’ve put together 15 steps to guide you through planning your wedding. I often find the biggest hurdle for couples is where to begin so let’s start with exactly that.
Congratulations, you’re getting married! This is one of the most magical times in your life where your friends and family come together to celebrate in a grand fashion, you and your fiancé’s love for one another! While weddings vary from micro to major, it is likely that few events in your life will involve this level of planning, time and expense.
To take a bit of the pressure off and make things a little less overwhelming, we have written this two part article to provide you with a step-by-step guide that will take some of the stress away and make planning your wedding a fun experience.
With some of these you can take the lists/questions from each step out with you on your next date night and use each point (or several points) as a discussion between courses. Or simply make a night of it at home, grab a bottle of wine and sit yourselves on the couch and work your way through the lists. Even if you just plan to sit down together once/twice a week to focus on wedding planning, you should be well on your way within the first month!
So, where to begin, with steps 1 through 8. If you're looking for part 2 of this article, where we cover steps 9-15, you can find it via the link below.
A note before you begin: Wedding planning isn’t an exact science and of course the requirements will vary greatly depending on your culture, type of wedding and budget. While we have tried to create order and consecutive steps to planning a wedding, you may find we don’t cover everything and doing some of the steps simultaneously will be helpful or even necessary, especially if you have a short timeline to plan your wedding. For this reason we suggest reading the article, both part 1 and 2, in their entirety before you begin your planning.
Though this may seem like a daunting step, we’ve broken it down into a short list of five key decisions to make that will help determine some key factors for your wedding and get you started with your planning.
Once you have made these decisions you should find you are able to move on to the next steps and make choices, such as choosing a venue, a bit easier and more focused.
While weddings vary from micro to major, it is likely that few events in your life will involve this level of planning, time and expense.
Every couple decides on this differently, some like to begin their research and then put a budget together based on what they will need and others have a strict budget from the get go. It’s always made trickier by the fact that you will encounter vendors who are low cost, average and high end so there’s no easy way to know exactly what your costs will be at the very start however, a quick call or web search to a few vendors should help give you an indication of what each element will cost in your location.
There are two steps that will help shape your budget (these can be done in any order or even simultaneously).
It’s time to research venues, one of your biggest expenses, and start to get a sense of what your per head cost might look like.
While you don’t need to get into serious decision mode and tour venues just yet, by now you should have a rough idea of the types of venues that will suit your wedding from your five key decisions and may even have a list of contenders. Getting in touch with a few that feel like they could be the right fit, and requesting their price lists will give you an indication of what type of price to expect and if you need to adjust your expectations.
If you haven’t yet started researching venues just do a quick Google search in your chosen area for at least 2-3 venues that suit your style. For example; search ‘Barn Weddings Victoria’. If you get in touch with these venues and request their pricing, this should start to give you an average cost.
A note on DIY: Keep in mind sometimes a DIY venue can be more costly, even if it appears inexpensive at the start, as you have to bring in hired items. It’s worth doing some quick calculations and seeing if you have to hire tables, chairs, linens etc to see what the true per head cost will be versus an inclusive venue. From experience, I have found that it’s often more!
While every wedding is different we have created a list of some of the general big ticket items, aside from your venue, that you may want to consider as part of your budget. Similar to finding an average cost for wedding venues, you may need to do the same for the list of vendors below, local to where your wedding will take place, in order to effectively budget.
Wedding services/vendors to consider including in your budgeting:
Add it all up
Now for some quick maths, add the costs of step A and B together (plus a little buffer for extras and the finer details) and you should get a rough idea of what your wedding will cost and the budget required.
Now that you have a rough estimate, you can start making decisions around if you need to cull and prioritise what you can have if your budget is coming out too high.
by now you should have a rough idea of the types of venues that will suit your wedding from your five key decisions and may even have a list of contenders.
There are two ways to approach this…
The first is if you already have a date in mind; such as an anniversary, and you are set on your wedding day falling on this date. In which case you will find your vendors/venues may be dictated by availability rather than preference however, this is not always the case. It just depends on availability, how popular your chosen date is and how far in advance you are booking.
The second approach is you’re open to dates and simply need to focus on your preference for day i.e., Friday, Saturday etc and time of year. Would you like a Spring or Summer wedding and will that give you enough time to plan if it falls in the same calendar year as your engagement? Or do you need to consider waiting until the following year in order to have enough time to plan your wedding?
Important factors to keep in mind when choosing your wedding date:
When you have done your research and you are comfortable with your wedding date/date range you can start to focus on all the other aspects of your big day!
A note on wedding days: Though most couples will opt to have their wedding held on a Saturday, if you find you love a venue but it’s not quite in your price range (or simply wish to save a bit of money), it’s worth inquiring about their options for a Friday, Sunday or even weekday wedding. Though this has other repercussions such as guests having to take time off work, or leaving early due to work the next day, it might not hurt to ask as sometimes the per head price drops $20 or more.
While it may seem early to start thinking about your bridal party so soon in the process of planning your wedding, the size and costs of your bridal party can have a big implication on your budget, transport and accommodation options.
Five questions to ask yourselves when choosing your bridal party:
Now is a good time to ask your bridal party to be a part of your wedding so you can get a sense of who is in and account for them in your budgeting and planning. Though this is less urgent and they won’t have as much of an impact on your budget, don’t forget to consider if/who you would like to ask to be a flower girl, page boy or ring bearer. Once you have asked your bridal party and know how many you have and who is covering the cost of what, you can more accurately attain quotes and calculate/adjust your budget.
Before you ask your bridal party to be a part of your wedding, it’s a good idea to sit down with your fiancé and decide whether or not you will be covering the costs of them being a part of your big day.
Now that you have your budget and an idea of what you want your wedding to be like, it’s time to do some research and find your venue/s.
Some couples find they walk into a venue and the decision is instantly made, they need look no further and are ready to lock it in. For others there are a few competing with each other and it becomes tricky to make a final decision.
For the latter, something you may find helpful is a spreadsheet listing important decision making factors such as per head costs, duration, capacity etc. In addition, anything that is important to you should be on this spreadsheet for example, how many courses are served, overall vibe, distance from ceremony site etc.
To make things a little easier, we’ve broken our tips for this step down into two sections, ceremony venues and reception venues (of course, if you're having both at the same venue, you can just combine these two parts). As you visit venues you will start to see the same categories/features pop up and this will help you determine what to include in your spreadsheet. We’ve also included a sample table for each section to help give you an idea on how to get your spreadsheet started.
See our sample table below for ceremony venues:
Questions worth asking your potential ceremony venue:
See our sample table below for reception venues:
Questions worth asking your potential reception venue:
At the end of the day, selecting your venue will come down to a few things. A feeling or vibe you get for the overall aesthetic of the place as well as some functional purposes such as distance, catering for your number of guests, cost and so on.
No one can truly advise you on which venue to choose as it has to meet you and your fiancé’s criteria. However, if you are really struggling to narrow it down, perhaps a second visit with a parent or someone from your bridal party may help you spot some things that you hadn’t picked up on previously, and ultimately help you decide.
Now that your ceremony and reception venues are booked you’ve got some of the major details organised!
A note on deposits: Keep in mind when you book, often vendors will require a deposit to hold your date. This isn’t always required immediately but generally shortly after you book you will receive an invoice with a due date to pay your deposit by, or you may lose the booking date.
By now you should have your:
Although it might feel early, wedding dresses can take anywhere from 6-12 months to order, so it’s always great to get started as soon as possible. You can even begin shopping during step five (or even as the very first thing you do) however, we find knowing the context of your venue (and your budget) can help when deciding on which style of wedding dress you choose.
This is an exciting step as it is another big ticket item you can tick off your list. Not to mention the experience of shopping for, what is most likely, the most expensive dress you will purchase in your lifetime, should be a wonderful and fun part of your wedding planning process.
Three things to keep in mind when wedding dress shopping:
Since wedding dress shopping can be quite a large task in itself, we have a whole other article dedicated to helping you find your dress, what to expect and where to begin. You can read more on this in our article: Wedding dress shopping: 12 Helpful tips before you start
Once you have said yes to the dress or even during this step, you can really get into finding your vendors and seeing your big day start to take shape and come to life.
...the experience of shopping for, what is most likely, the most expensive dress you will purchase in your lifetime, should be a wonderful and fun part of your wedding planning process.
It’s time to start finding and deciding what types of vendors you may need (if you like this can be done alongside step six). If you haven’t had anyone close to you marry or been to many weddings, this can feel like you are looking for a needle in a haystack. Luckily, we’ve created a list below to help get you on your way to finding your vendors.
Five ways to find your vendors:
Create a shortlist and start getting quotes
Once you’ve done your research, it’s worth creating a shortlist of your favourite vendors and noting inclusions, pros, cons etc. Now is also the time to start getting quotes to add to your vendor shortlist to see how they are stacking up against one another and to help you make your final decision.
Similarly to finding your wedding venue, a spreadsheet never goes astray in these situations. We’ve included a quick example below of how you might like to create your shortlist table.
Some venues host open days where they have everything set up with different styling/layout options and sometimes even have vendors showcasing their offerings.
Prioritise booking your major vendors
Even though most weddings are planned more than a year in advance, there are still only so many Saturdays and weekends in a season. As a result, you may find venues and certain types of vendors (in particular ones that can’t accommodate more than one couple in a day) book out well in advance. This is even more so the case if the specific venue/vendor you desire is in high demand. Due to this, we have made a list of vendors we recommend booking early on in your wedding planning process.
Vendors to book at least 12 months prior to your wedding (ideally):
Vendors to book 8-12 months prior to your wedding:
Once you’ve booked some of your major vendors you can start getting into the fun, less time sensitive items like stationery, bridal party attire and the finer details of your wedding.
A note on stylists: If you’re planning on hiring a stylist, now is a good time to engage one as they will most likely have preferred suppliers and may very well be able to guide you through this process.
A note on trials: Hair and make up trials can book out just as far in advance as wedding days! So once you know who you want to book with or even if you need to trial a few, it’s worth booking your trial as soon as possible. Even better if you can tee it up for the same day as another event such as a friend’s wedding or your bridal shower.
A note on additional celebrations and events: As wedding planning is a large task in itself, we felt this wasn’t the space to go into details on planning additional celebrations but do want to flag this is a good time to start organising them. Some of these may include an engagement party (if you haven’t already had/organised one), bachelor/bachelorette party/bridal shower, rehearsal dinner, recovery brunch and of course your honeymoon.
Along with the hunt for the perfect vendors you may find yourself needing some suppliers if you are wanting additional decor that isn’t covered by floristry. This could be anything from linens to disco balls depending on what your wedding theme/style is.
Now is a good time to revisit your Pinterest boards and look up images of your venue to see how previous brides/grooms have styled the space, determine what you do/don’t like and if you feel you need to hire a stylist or company to bring in specific chairs, tables, candles, backdrops or any other items you may feel you need to add.
Start by making a list of your non-negotiables. For example, if you feel the chairs at your venue simply won’t work for your wedding style (and you have the budget for it) then hiring chairs is a non-negotiable.
From there it’s worth adding any wish list items and starting to research companies/stylists that may be able to bring your vision to life.
The more you can organise through one supplier the better, but sometimes it does take a few to get the right look.
It’s also worth checking in with your venue before you book to ensure:
Once you’ve done your research and found a supplier/s you are happy with it’s time to book them in!
A note on stylists: Even though we mentioned this in step 7, we felt it was worth noting again, if you’re planning on hiring a stylist, now is a good time to engage them as they will be able to guide you through this process.
By now you should have your:
Congratulations!
You are now more than halfway through the process of planning your wedding. Be sure to read part two of this article to find out more of our tips and the remaining steps to planning your perfect wedding! Wedding planning in 15 steps – Part 2: The finer details
– By The Aisle Runner
I work as a bridal personal assistant and wedding coordinator.
My goal is to make your wedding planning journey easy and enjoyable so that it is a pleasant memory for years to come.
